I said that I would be taking posts from my Instagram, but I've changed my mind. I do want to go back on those posts, reread them, and discuss how I feel/felt about the things that happened, but I want to give myself a new view. A view from how I feel about it now, something that can help change my perspective. I do not think it's good to dwell on things, but I don't think it's good to bury and pretend they didn't happen either. So, I think going back, reviewing, and giving my current views will do me well. My outlook on my life, and life in general, have greatly matured since when a lot of these posts were made. I was much more confused, I didn't know how to say how I felt, I was lost. Not to say that now I know what I'm doing, but I at least know why I do it. I at least know why others may interact with me the way they do. I do not take things nearly as personally as I did even a few months ago. My mindset on relationships and my livelihood have changed greatly, and I want to display that in these posts rather than reiterate what I've already written. I feel it is the only way that doing this can become productive. It's easy for me to look back at these posts and become highly critical of myself, shaming myself for what I felt and done, but I'm learning to go easier on myself. The way to do that is not criticizing my past mistakes, it's diving into them and seeing what I gained from it and how to not let it happen again. I think what has happened recently will be the last time I will feel made a fool of. I know that I will not put myself into another position that I feel I cannot come back from. This blog is not supposed to be that big of a deal, I know. However, I explained my love for writing, and it really does hold a special place in my heart. Me writing about these things will feel like I'm relinquishing the things still holding me back, so it is a bit of a big deal to me. I will say how I feel, I won't hold anything back, and I'll see it as an ode to who I've grown to be. If someone does find this (and I have 99% doubt in the fact that anyone ever will) they will know that these are my complete feelings on all these subjects. I finished piece regarding all things me. A conclusion that my minds been begging for.
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